at 7:59 AM 0 comments

wow.


mom-nos - every mile a memory

Please read this! I love this blog and this story just took my breath away.

at 6:16 PM 0 comments

Grateful Monday

I am going to start my own Grateful Monday posts today. I need to remember to be grateful more often.

I am grateful for Mondays.
That's right. I get to start my week off slow. On Mondays I travel to another school, which feels like sneaking off and allows me to have a calm break in the middle of my day. Nice start to the week.

I am grateful for a secure job that I love. A job that allows me to be with my boy. A job that allows me to play with crayons and tempera and be told what a great artist I am all day. A job with good benefits and a salary that is enough to keep this little house of ours. A job that allows me to get hugs and compliments and inspires the minds of little folks sometimes. Not a bad jig at all. Tomorrow is a teacher workday and I get to gather with like minded art teachers and I'm bringing my boy too! (I kinda forgot to tell them that - but it will be fine I'm sure.)

I am grateful for my health. I have a strong immune system. I had a little bout of the funk this weekend, but have managed to beat it with some Theraflu and rest. And the boy? Healthy as a horse! Now I need to get this thing on my face looked at, start running, working out more, and loose 30 lbs, but I am healthy and I can do it.

I am grateful for communities of friends. I have been blessed to be surrounded by great friends from different places, from school, work, Richmond Mommies, crafty folks, facebook folks, you name it. I have had the great fortune to have good friends, and to be in these communities. I hope I have given 1/2 as much as I have received. Thank you. You lift me up when I need it and don't know how to ask, because I suck at asking for help, you always have my back, and damn you have no idea how many times you have saved my ass from near disaster or mental breakdown. I love you. I don't say it enough. And I know I am not always the easiest person to be friends with.

Just a drop in the bucket of things I have to be grateful for, but it's a start.

Most of all I am grateful for this little face here;


(Spongebob singing Karaoke this Halloween weekend)

at 5:02 PM 0 comments

I am sick - I think.

At least tonight I feel really sore and tired. Hoping the Theraflu does the trick. So The Monkey and I are staying in and hoping I feel better tomorrow so we can do the costume fun at the gym tomorrow morning. Here's to optimism!
I have a belly full of pizza and I am laying on the couch gearing up to knit after a hot Jacuzzi bath. Um hello, sick or not, life is good.
I am so grateful for this house. Its a mess and I am struggling to take care of things by myself, but I feel so fortunate. I really am so happy to have this house. It's mine. All mine. Wow.
I never would have bought a house alone before, and I certainly didn't intend to do this alone. But ya know what, am glad I did. Even through the grief and heartache that I am still working out.
I am grateful and proud. It's good to be home.
Home sweet Home

at 5:58 PM 0 comments

Wednesdays suck.

So Wednesday is supposed to be hump day huh? A good thing, right? 1/2 way through the week. But for some reason Wednesdays are hardest for me. Perhaps it's because it's the one night of the week I'm not as busy. No Scout meetings, no VCU class, no Knit Night, nothing to take my mind off things of an emotional nature. I keep my self so busy I don't get time to be bummed, except Wednesday.
I am still having a hard time dealing with my broken engagement and solo status. Still sad, disappointed and feeling defeated. I know it's for the best, it could've been worse, he was no good for us, I'll find someone I deserve, blah blah blah. But it sucks. I'm 35. My dreams of family and coupledom are destroyed. I am still and seemingly endlessly in this alone. No Peanut Butter to my jelly, no butter to my bread, or mac to my cheese. I've been solo so long.
I swear if another friend comes up with a miraculous unexpected pregnancy while I feel my eggs dry up one by one as the window is on it's way to close on the baby factory, well, I may loose my mind.
I hate to be whiny about this. I hate feeling this way and am ready to be done with it all already. Really, this is so unlike me. So dark, so depressing, so whiny and ungrateful. It's not like I don't know my blessings and truly appreciate them. I do. I really know how blessed I am. I have had so much good in my life. But the one thing I have dreamed of most eludes me. And frankly, what have I lost? So many have such bigger trails and hurdles to overcome, greater losses, bigger demons, true tradgedy, so who am I to complain?
But I miss him. Bad. And I can't contact him. It would be bad for both of us. If he'd even talk to me. He wouldn't. He forwarded an email to me this week. Just a forward, no text. It was about a return for something we ordered and returned on my card. Just business. I wanted so bad to respond. But for what end? It would just start it all over again. I keep imagining ways I could reach out, and thinking of upcoming significant days and how I wonder if he'll remember, care or be effected the way I will. I have no doubt he has turned me into a demon, a horrible memory, to protect himself and to not have to accept any responsibility. I am like the last = "she who will not be named". I wish I knew that wasn't the case. I wish I knew he was working to make things right and fix this mess. I wish he was able to love me that much, and love himself too. I miss him. I love him. Damnit.
I'm lonely. A certain 6 year old is back in my bed since our trip. Totally my doing. He loves it, gets used to it and asks, and I give in. We can break it easy enough I know. But I don't. I make the excuse that when the weather is cold, he's warm and is good snuggling, but really I just like him next to me. Poor kid stuck with keeping his momma company. Pathetic.
On a lighter happier note, I took Andy today for his psych evaluation for his IEP. The Dr was kind. She seemed to get that he had a very swiss cheese kind of diagnosis. Presented very typically in some ways for Asbergers, but very high functioning, and doing great thanks to the great work by awesome teachers and a system that is working well for us. She also praised my parenting, and said how good I was doing with him, and that it was apparent in the interaction she observed in the short time we met. That is so nice to hear. Especially from the professionals.
I also got a lovely email from an old flame who echoed the same remarks and told me other lovely encouraging things. I really appreciated that. Just wish I could figure out how if I'm so freakin' great, then why do the things I want so much elude me; love, family, reciprication? And why every time I date someone lately it seems the next woman in their life is the one they marry? What is up with that?
Ok - enough bitching and moaning. But is it okay if I skip the Jillian Micheals DVD in lieu of a glass or red and Glee? Thank goodness for Glee. Wednesday is redeemed.

WTF?! World Series?!!! *&^%$#@ Arghhhhh!!!
Like I said - Wednesdays suck.

at 4:11 PM 0 comments

The longest Blog post ever - for too short of a trip....

I took Andy to NYC. I never thought I'd be able to do it, I thought Andy would be too overstimulated by the city, but we did and it was great. I am exhausted. And a little sick, but we have some medication and are getting sleep so we'll be back at 'um soon. And one of these days I'll get out of my funk once and for all.

We left on Saturday morning by train at the crack of dawn. But by a stroke of luck it just happened that Andy's best little buddy from pre - K and his family were going to NY the same weekend to see the Lion King and were on the same train. So we all sat together, on a very full train, guarding our seats together and the boys entertained each other. Great trip up.

At the train station we said our goodbyes and headed our separate ways. I rigged a leash for Andy, which I immediately found necessary as we tried to get through busy Penn Station. Off to find the mythical Carlton Arms hotel! We took the subway two transfers and a few blocks and there we were! The Carlton Arms Hotel is in the Flatiron District, 2 blocks from the lovely Madison Square Park. It's in a great area, just next to Baruch College, and our room was only $240 for all 3 nights! That's $80 a night! The hotel is an artist project started in the late 80s when a group of creative people decided to turn a dark run down building into a work of art. Today it has 54 rooms, 4 floors, and are all painted and decorated by artists all over the world. Very cool and colorful place! Now before you go booking a room at the Carlton Arms, let me tell you, it's not for everyone. The beds were clean, and comfy, the people were great, and the room was awesome (14D - painted by Andre Van Der Kerkoff from New Zealand) painted in an aboriginal style, but it's old and dingy, with shared bathrooms on each floor. They do offer private bathrooms for $110 and up for more people - and two people are normally charged $110 for a shared bathroom, but they only charged me for one person since Andy is just 6 which was really cool. 90% of the visitors to Carlton Arms are European, and if you've done some international traveling, you'll get this place. It's kind of like a hostel, very bare bones accommodations. It's not the Holiday Inn. But you won't find a cooler more authentic experience. Our room was unfortunately smokey smelling, but I didn't really care. Nothing a bottle of air freshener couldn't handle. And again, it was $80 a night! When I realized I failed to bring an umbrella, they had one for me, and when I realized I only had enough cash to buy one tee shirt as I was leaving, they gave me the second one. Cool place. I will be back. Can't wait to see what room I get next time.





After checking in Andy and I set out to explore, have dinner, and see a show. We went straight to dinner, as I was afraid we'd be pushing our time if we wound up at Toys R Us first. So we went to find Mars 2112 , an outer spaced themed restaurant. We found the spaceship outside and went on it. Really funny place. The host was dressed as sort of a mad scientist, and they first guided us into a ship to transport us to Mars. Really it was just a room that shook and had a movie - like one of those rides, but Andy was not amused. I kept reminding him it was just for fun and just pretend, but he was a little shaken. Of course we had some very obnoxious tourists from Jersey or Boston or some northern accented place, trying to interrupt and joke with him, which I hate, joking with Andy when he's stressed is not cool. (Why do people think it's OK to mess with other people's kids and try to intervene in a rough moment? I hate that.) Then when we "arrived", into a very cool set up full of moon rock and red lighting, Andy took one look at the Alien character at the bottom of the stairs and was not having it. But I asked the hostess to see if the character greeter could move for a moment and if the characters would not come visit us, and instead let us approach them when we were ready, and I dragged him down the stairs. It really didn't take long for him to be OK with it all and really enjoy it. When he saw an alien character approaching another nearby table he crawled under the table, and when she was gone, ha came up and giggled and said "Whew that was a close one". I assured him the aliens were friendly. Dinner was lousy, but I expected that, people don't eat there for the food and I did have a www.restaurant.com coupon, so it was fine. The server was very kind, I tipped him well and we had a good time. Before long I was getting my picture with Aliens, and Andy was joking with the alien he had initially run away from. They had a game room where we took in a game of air hockey before heading out to our next destination. Good times.



Toys R Us Times Square was our next stop. What an amazing place. Life size Dinosaurs, Ferris Wheel, Transformers, Geoffry the Giraffe, Lego Empire State Building! Fortunately we had a limited time to stay, so a quick look around, and a ride on the Ferris wheel was all that time allowed for. He was great. I told him what time we had to leave and showed him the clock frequently so he knew how much time we had till the show. We rode the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine car. Andy was in awe and pure joy. Such a sweet boy.



Andy was getting used to the leash now, which really was a genius idea, and he was such a good boy about it. The leash allowed him the freedom of not having to hold my hand, which he hates, kept him on task going from place to place when he got distracted, prevented him from running off or darting some place, and kept him from getting quickly swallowed by a crowd. I got many looks, but whatever. Andy didn't mind it at all, and I think we may continue using it. It saved our trip from certain disaster. Wish I had that at the Folk Festival.

Next up on the agenda - The Lion King. Andy had claimed to not want to see the show at all, but one look at his face when the show began would tell you different. I've never seen his eyes so wide. We had seats in the Mezzanine, and wouldn't you know it they stuck us in the back row. I have to find a better way to get better seats next time. That was BS. But it would up being a good thing, as half way through the show, my little guy was plum tuckered out and asking to go. At intermission, he said " Is it over now?" I replied "no honey, remember I told you about intermission, it's just a break" to which he replied "that's OK momma I only wanted to see half, lets go now." He was so tired he was jerking his legs and starting to cry a little there at the end. You know the feeling when you are just that tired it hurts? His little forehead got clammy, just like it did when he was a baby right before giving in to sleep, and sure enough he passed out cold at the last scene. So cute. But he still enjoyed it. Next time, matinee for sure.



I know he liked it because the next morning the first thing he said when he woke up was " Momma, you know what my favorite part was?" (I ask him that all the time.) "My favorite part was when Simba's Uncle Scar fell off teh cliff and died. " Awesome.

I thought we may need to take a cab back to the hotel, but Andy did wake up and was in good spirits. He was hypnotically drawn to the M&M store with the huge video screen on the building of the M&Ms - like a moth to a flame. He had seen it before the show, and wanted to go. We bought a bag of red M&Ms, he begged me to buy a giant red stuffed M&M, we got a Christmas ornament to commemorate the trip, and they gave us a few boxes of M&M Premiums Dark Chocolate (for momma). They are damn good folks! (I am having some as I write.)

We didn't get drizzled on until we got back to the hotel, but the forecast was not so good for Sunday. We both slept in that next morning.

So Sunday after getting a late start, we headed out to find the 13th St Repertory Theater for a children's show. It was a dreary rainy day. I forgot my umbrella, so Rob at the hotel offered me one when I asked him where I could buy one. Nice guy. Fueled up on Starbucks and caught the subway.

Andy really seemed to like the subway, especially the newer trains where he could see where the next stop was. But there was no time or room for shopping - he wanted nothing to do with walking extra blocks, so no out of the way stops or shopping for momma.



Off to the Village. We arrived early at the tiny theater, so we could use the bathroom. The head of the theater is a little old lady Edith O'Hara. Sweet lady. But she had bad news for us. Apparently the show was canceled, as they had to get a new cast (fickle actors I guess), and there would be no show at 12. We could come back at 1:30, but I had other plans for the afternoon. She pulled out a ragged old dirty stuffed dog and started to talk to Andy with it and told him that he could name the dog. She was very kind and really seemed to want us to come back. I was sad we missed it, but it's just as well, as I think it really would have been too much for us. I felt bad but we would not be coming back. The Bodies were waiting. That reminds me I still need to go online to get a refund.

After missing breakfast, we found "Andy's Deli" a little corner spot and grabbed a bite for an early lunch at the counter. Pancakes and fruit for Andy, Chicken Souvlaki for me. I was freezing and failed to find a black trench coat in VA so I hit a H&M. NYC has an H&M on every corner. I got a great trench coat to weather the dreary day.

Now off to the Bodies Exhibit . We arrived around 2:30. The exhibit was at South Street Seaport, which is in the Financial district. There are really no subways that goo all the way down there so there are several blocks to walk from the last station. The exhibit was pricey, about $60 for the two of us, but the nice thing about that was that the combination of the high price, a the dreary Sunday made the exhibit not crowded at all.
It was Fascinating. And Andy, who loves anatomy and the human body, was overjoyed. All these serious quiet people in there, and here is Andy jumping up and down with excitement over the stomach! We got the listening device, which had information for children, as well as adults. It was wonderful! Not gory or gross at all. Presented with dignity of the bodies and beauty in a scientific manner. The exhibit is divided up into different rooms displaying the different systems of the body; Skeletal, Muscular, Circulatory, Respiratory, Reproductive, and Digestive (Andy's favorite)I was particularly fascinated by the fetal exhibit, which I didn't know was there. But that was at the end of the exhibit, and after 2 1/2 hours Andy was done. Done for Andy means falling on the floor,inappropriate touching, running off. We were able to hold a brain, a femur, and a smokers lung and heart on the way out. At the end of the exhibit, just before the exit, they had books and they asked you to leave your comments and reflections. Andy made reflections in his way; drawings 2 pages full. Drawing always centers him. He thinks in pictures. I can't even imagine all that he was thinking.



My friend Chris De Carlo who I used to sketch with back in the Busch Gardens Kaman's Art Shoppes caricature days lives in NY (green with envy I am) He is wonderful, fun, talented, and can talk as much as me, which I love! I haven't seen him in 12 years! We had a little reunion over Dim Sum in Chinatown. Exhausted and not wanting to be late, we grabbed a cab over to Chinatown and were hoping to find some "blank paper" (Andy hates paper with lines on it for drawing) so he could draw, he was begging to draw. No luck. And unfortunately Jing Fong, the huge restaurant that Chris suggested was hosting an enormous wedding that evening, so we had to settle for a smaller place next door with no dim sum carts. But there were lots of interesting things in fish tanks, and the food was great. The company, even better. Afterwards we found The Chinatown Ice Cream Factory where I had Ginger and Green Tea Ice creams that were so delicious! Even in the chilly cold evening the shop had a line and it was worth every calorie.



Monday morning I had promised Andy we would find a playground. So after coffee and a bagel we went over to the park a little play time. Just us and the NY nannies. The playground at Madison Square park is very nice and new, but mostly for tots, and being a Monday, all the school age kids were in school. Not that Andy cared, they had a tire swing.



I had planned more than we could fit into most of the day, so with the weather and our level of exhaustion Sunday, we did not see Lady Liberty. This was one of Andy's must do's, so I gave him a choice for Monday - museum or Statue? He chose the Statue of Liberty.
Fortunately the weather had cleared up and it was a beautiful day for it. So back to South Street Seaport. We arrived with 45 min before our water taxi tour. We hung out on Pier 17 and had a little snack. The tour was awesome. The guide, George, was an immigrant himself, came to the US with his parents from Cyprus in 1966, and he still vividly remembers arriving in NY by boat and seeing the Statue. He was full of great information, charismatic and passionate! Andy took it upon himself to give him more information he learned in first grade, such as "the nose of the statue is 4 feet 6 inches" and "the spikes represent the 7 'contidents' and the 7 seas" George was of course charmed by Andy, who also showed him the drawing he did on the boat of the statue, so George brought him down to meet the captain of the ship and even gave him a button that said "Jr Captain" very kind. Oh and um, Lady Liberty was beautiful.



Next up on a beautiful day, what else but Central Park? On the way we met 2 lovely ladies and a 14 year old. The one woman was here with her best friend from Alaska to take her son, who has Aspergers to Rhinebeck Health Center. We took the train in the wrong direction and wound up in Brooklyn, but we all needed a break so it was a nice rest. I remembered to bring the sketchpad, so Andy was happily drawing. Most of the time I know where I'm going, but when I'm that tired, well, we all make mistakes.

Before we could go to the park we had to find some food. Off to get the perfect hotdog - we were starving, and dinner was not until 6, so we found the famed Gray's Papaya, and had a little snack. It is all that.Simple and good, and the papaya drink was all kinds of good! 2 dogs and a papaya drink $5.



It was a beautiful day in the park. I was so jealous of the folks getting in a run. I would love to run in the park! Andy loved the rocks. All he wanted to do was to climb the rocks and be "king of the mountain". It was a good chance too to let him run free off his leash. We rode the super fast carousel, and found a playground. Andy naturally made a new friend.



While at the park Andy came up with a new thing - he refused to go to the bathroom when I asked if he needed to go. He was adamant about it. And surprise surprise, he had an accident. Both at the same time. In the cold. Far from the potty, and dry pants. Great. He is very dramatic and was screaming about his legs hurting from the pee pee on his legs and the chafing. Screaming. Wouldn't walk. I had to carry him most of the way to the potty, trying to keep him calm. Not fun. People were staring at us like I was beating him. It was not cool. I calmed him down, and cleaned him up. I had thought ahead and had stuffed a pair of clean underpants in his backpack, just in case, but not pants. I tried to dry them on the hand dryer, but they were jeans. I got them acceptable, and got him ready to go catch a cab. No time to stop at Bloomingdale's for new pants either. I was worried we would loose our dinner reservation at Serendipity 3 so we just sucked it up and went to dinner. The rest of the evening was fine. Ya do what ya gotta do.

So yeah, dinner. It was all right. Tiny little place that Serendipity 3 . I haven't seen the movie , I had just heard about the frozen hot chocolates and it seemed like a good enough reason to go. There is an upstairs and a downstairs, both tiny crowded and little tables. Smaller than the smallest of tiny Fan joints. Lots of Tiffany lamps, and an Andy Warhol doll was hanging from the ceiling next to our table. Andy ate an adult portion of Seafood Fettuccini with basil. Anything with noodles, shrimp and scallops will work for him. Those are his favorites. I had an open face Turkey and Brie sandwich that was lovely and not too much. I think I should have ordered the meatloaf though, it looked like that was the deal. The dessert menu is overwhelming, too many choices. I was really hoping Andy would order something different, but he claimed to not want dessert, so I just ordered the frozen hot chocolate - that was enough for both of us anyhow. Of course he went right to it when it arrived. No dessert huh? It would have been a lot of fun to go with a group where you could try different desserts. And if you go - get the meatloaf. It looked awesome.



Next door was Dylan's Candy Bar, so of course we went there and spent a ridiculous amount of money on candy, though I showed a lot of restraint let me tell you. The place was hypnotic. And Andy, well like a kid in a candy store he was going nuts. For some reason he is really attracted to stuffed toys of candy verses the candy itself. He was playing with a wall of stuffed candy bars. By the time we finished, FAO Schwartz was closed, but we needed to save something for next time anyhow.



For our last day in NY, we decided to do the museum. We'll save the zoo for our next trip. (see I'm already planning) We were sure to get up early, finish packing and get out to enjoy the few hours we had left. We took the subway right to the Central Park West area, and found a place to have breakfast. The Shining Star Deli on Amsterdam. It felt very everyday New Yorker. I wanted to stay. We walked past kids getting dropped off at school, parents and teachers, and I was so envious. I wanted to teach at their schools, take my kids on field trips to the museums. Maybe one day. Or maybe we'll just visit more often.

At 10:00 we were at the doors with a few school groups and ready to see the solar system and dinosaurs. We purchased tickets to the 10:30 show of "Journey To the Stars" in the Planetarium. Very cool. Wide eyes on my boy. Next, dinosaurs, though he was already a little bit done, and more interested in the computers with exhibit information than the exhibit itself. By the time we got to the taxidermy African animals exhibit, all he wanted to do was draw, which is his way of centering himself and getting some stimulus downtime. So I gave him a sketchpad and let him take a break. They really should give discounted tickets for kids with short attention spans. I mean $38 for the two of us for less than 2 hours?



All we had time left for was lunch. Shake Shack Madison Square Park. Best shake I've ever had in my life. Cheese fries, Shack Burgers, gluttony. I swear 1/2 the women in the line, which is always long if it's not raining, were pregnant. Brings back memories. Kendra kept me in business with a daily shake when I was pregnant with Andy. (You think my milkshake habit contributed to my 75lb weight gain? hmmm)While I waited in line Andy sat on a bench to draw. He was too tired to run off. I had a good eye on him. He was sitting next to a young couple from the college, and was drawing. He asked the girl to stand up and pose for him. Can you say flirt? They were very sweet and entertained him. He's so funny, everyone is his friend. One of the many things I love about him.



One more visit to the tire swing and we had to get back to the hotel to grab our luggage and catch a train. We returned to the hotel, and it occurred to me that since no one was there when we left in the morning, I didn't check out. I was so apologetic, but the guys at the hotel were so cool and nonchalant about it. I wanted to get a shirt before we left, and only had cash for one, so they wound up giving me the other one. Crazy cool of them.

Upon leaving we were smack dab in the middle of the set of Nurse Jackie . They turned Baruch College into All Saints Hospital. But I didn't see Edie Falco. Her chair was empty.
We grabbed a cab and just made it on to the train.



Th train ride home was odd. We weren't on a quiet train car, but it was pretty much silent. People were on computers and ipods, and no one was talking. And here I am with a 6 year old. He did well, read, drew, played on my phone. At one point he headed to the back of the train, to go to the bathroom, and when I turned to look, he hadn't gone to the potty at all, he was hiding in a seat. When I approached him he yelled, and the woman in front of him turned around to yell at him. WTF? Who do people think they are that they can yell at other people's kids? I mean I was standing right there handling it. I yelled at her and pulled the autism card. I told her not to yell at my kid and that he had autism and couldn't necessarily control his behavior and what was her excuse? I hate those type of women. I don't get that lack of maternal instinct hates kids thing. I just don't get it. But I tell you what, aside from that, he was angel. In DC everyone pretty much got off, and 2 women got on. They sat down next to us, and I warned them that Andy had been on the train since 3 and I couldn't guarantee he'd be quiet, just in case that would disturb them. They were delightful and didn't mind at all. Kierra and Mrs T. Cos hung out with us and chatted and played with Andy the whole way back. Lovely ladies.

And here we are. Back home. Yep. Awesome.
And so the back to reality blues sets in.
Still working through it. It's still here, right where I left it.
Damnit all.

NYC save a seat on the subway for us, we'll be back. Soon.

at 8:52 PM 1 comments

Terrible blogger I am. Terrible.
Well Oct 09 - we are in a new house - our own house - so much has happened.
Andy is in First grade and doing AWESOME!
more to come - soon? eventually?
How about a picture?

at 4:59 AM 1 comments

Suspended!


Yep That's right, my 5 year old Aspie is suspended!
I received a phone call at the end of the day yesterday from the principal of my sons school. You see, they have been sending my son to breakfast every morning, (something I found out after I had already been feeding him at home.) and there was an incident in breakfast. Andy was waiting in a long line (waiting is a big problem for him) and was stimming - spinning around in circles while in line (this I know is him just getting wound up to let loose) then he stopped, grabbed a kid and bit him, unprovoked. Fortunately he bit the child through the coat, no no skin was broken or damage done. Was his intention to harm? No - he was just seeking input - and he got it. But according to the principal "there is a code of conduct" and he must be punished. The teachers decided that if he received an in school suspension it would be a treat for him to have the day alone with his aide Miss F. So they decided to suspend him.
Naturally I was upset and offended. I certainly felt he was being punished for his disability. I in no way condone or excuse his biting - but rather am upset that he was being put in an overstimulating environment and left to his own defenses. I was assured that Miss F was going with him to breakfast but not told where she was during the incident. Not that she should have to be on him every second - or to place blame, but I am simply of the belief that this suspension is at the fault of the circumstances he was placed in.
I did call back to the school before arriving in a huff, and asked to sit down with his new special education teacher to problem solve. The principal seemed pretty annoyed with me. I relayed to him that his suspension was nothing more than a three day weekend for him, and this sort of discipline was completely ineffective. In fact, almost all discipline is ineffective with this child, which many people have a problem accepting. We don't watch much tv, he has no video games at home, and spends most of his time reading and drawing. If I take away a favorite toy or book he will simply find something else - the effect is so short term that its pointless. So this suspension punishes me and my students at school who wont get art because I have to stay home. It just so happens our friend who can babysit is out of town.
I did chat with his teachers and aide, and the first thing Ms A asked was if he could eat at home - to which I responded that he did and that I had never requested he be sent to breakfast. So that was that. He will no longer go. Its overstimulating and unnesasary - so problem solved. Oh except the whole having to miss a day of work to stay home so the principal can make a point - what ever that is. Leave no child behind.